A couple of signs have recently appeared in the kitchen where I reside. They’re not aimed at me; no, they’re clearly aimed at my owner, and it’s not difficult to work out who put them there. One reads: “My next husband will be normal” and the other says: “Studies suggest that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than men who mention it.” My owner doesn’t seem to be in the slightest bit perturbed; no, he just laughs them off. He knows deep down that his wife of 30