Coco Calling No.262 - Caring for Humans

Over these last 23 years, I’ve come to realise that it’s the responsibility of pet parrots like me, to take care of our human owners. So I’ve jotted down some useful tips for any parrots that are new to this game. And I hope that it will make for an easier life all round! Here we go….

1) Humans have very poor hearing, so you need to shriek and scream if you want them to hear you.

2) Humans are very prone to becoming overweight, and exercise is the key! So always give your owner “the fly around” whenever they’re trying to catch you.

3) Humans need a proper diet in order to thrive. It’s a parrot’s responsibility to personally taste all food items to ensure that they’re healthy and wholesome.

4) Humans need to know their boundaries! Make sure that they don’t touch anything that belongs to you. A warning “peck” can help with this.

5) I have never seen a human take a dip in my bathing jug, and I reckon they must be very dirty. So, whenever I take a bath, I make sure that they get every bit as wet as I do, -if not wetter!

6) Humans regularly buy rubbish furniture, so it’s our responsibility to show them this by gnawing anything that’s sub-standard. Hopefully they will learn to become a bit more discerning every time they see the sawdust on the floor.

7) Humans need a great deal of love, and should be made to feel “a part of the flock.” Show them that you really care by preening all of their difficult-to-reach places (including armpits, nostrils, tonsils and teeth). Remember that a happy human is a healthy human!

Mind you, I’m not the only one seeking to improve human welfare. Mine is just a simple list of parrot suggestions. But God came up with the ultimate list when He presented Moses with the Ten Commandments on Mount Sinai. And these commandments don’t exist for the sake of it, or to spoil the freedom and enjoyment of the human species. Any wise parrot will tell you that they are ten simple rules to protect the human race from itself. And it’s usually when one of the Ten Commandments gets broken that great sadness and suffering results. Humans stray from them at their peril. Adolf Hitler was one such human who purportedly said:

“The Ten Commandments have lost their validity….Conscience is a Jewish invention. It is a blemish like circumcision.”

(Adolf Hitler: [1889-1945]: Leader of the German Nazi Party during WW2)

What so many humans fail to see is that by breaking any of the commandments, they are effectively breaking themselves. And by rejecting all ten, humans plunge themselves into total freefall. They often forget that despite being offered the gift of free will, God still wants to save them from their self-made catastrophes. His commandments are an expression of His love for humanity, and they still form the bedrock for human law today…..

“Man has made 32 million laws since The Commandments were handed to Moses on Mount Sinai more than three thousand years ago, but he has never improved God’s law. The Ten Commandments are the principles by which man may live with God and man may live with man. They are the expressions of the mind of God for His creatures. They are the Charter and guide of human liberty, for there can be no liberty without the law.” (Cecil B. DeMille: [1881-1959] American film maker and actor)

“The nation should be ruled by the Ten Commandments.”

(Theodore Roosevelt: [1858-1919]: 26th President of the USA)

“If the Ten Commandments were followed by everyone we would be able to fire half of the police force and in six months the prisons would be all half empty.” (John Hagee: [1940-present]: American pastor and author)

“This is love for God: to obey His commands. And His commands are not burdensome, for everyone born of God overcomes the world.” (1 John 5:3)

My owner’s sitting quietly on the sofa right now. Time to give him another preen!